Valentine’s Day. A day where those in a relationship are forced to show their love for a person through the gifting of chocolates, flowers, and/or jewelry albeit with a potentially nice payoff thrown in there somewhere. A time where chubby little baby angels use our butts as pincushions which is supposed to represent the idea of falling in love. Yet Valentine’s Day isn’t a happy time for some who are single.
So I am here to tell you that you shouldn’t feel so glum. Some of your favorite video game characters are also without a significant other.
If we want to talk about a man having blue balls then what better time to talk about Mega Man who takes this a step further by being blue all over! But despite all the years he has been around, and installments released, poor Mega Man has never had a relationship.
One would think that an evil scientist would create a female robot to seduce Mega Man and take him out of the picture. Given his inexperience he would be completely flustered that it would be the perfect time to take him out and conquer the world.
A woman who is smart, mischievous, and has a sense of humor would be the perfect girl for many even if she was purple all over. Sadly, Cortana’s lack of a physical body makes it difficult to have any sort of relationship.
But there was a spark between her and Master Chief…right?
While we are on the subject of Cortana let us talk about her silent partner. Yes, MC tends to let his actions speak louder than his few words but that doesn’t mean he can’t have his pick of the ladies. While no one has seen his face I’m sure that most people wouldn’t mind letting him keep the helmet on in the bedroom. After all, that is how people dream about him right?
But sadly, Master Chief is focused more on killing than loving.
She has a sexy, sultry voice, knowledge of the arcane, and other great assets. Yet while you can romance her in the end, this svelte enchantress (SPOILERS!) leaves you high and dry after she gets pregnant and helps you defeat the dragon.
Will you ever see her again? Who knows? But know that she is all by herself this Valentine’s Day.
If you wanted the definition of being alone then you would see Link’s picture in the dictionary. No matter how many times he has saved Princess Zelda nothing has really developed between them.
Isn’t it time for Link to finally have a relationship? By the Master Sword, this will be his 26th Valentine’s Day he is spending alone!
Recent events with gamers demanding to hear some details about Half-Life 3 could be attributed to the fact that we all want to see Alyx and Gordon get together. After all, it is hard to believe that nothing is going to happen between them especially with how Half-Life 2: Episode 2 ended.
It also doesn’t help that she is such a lovable character.
Unfortunately, however, this is another Valentine’s Day Alyx will have to spend by herself. Here is hoping that this will not be the case when February 14 comes around next year.
When it comes to silent protagonists the Freeman is one of the best. Having never uttered a word he inspires all those around him as he combats the Combine. Yet this tough-as-nails scientist has never had a sweetheart.
But perhaps things could change for him with Alyx?
Until then, the Freeman will be on his own…well…not so alone. He still has his trusty crowbar which has been with him through thick and thin.