Tina is feeling the fatigue when it comes to gaming. Her latest editorial explains in a bit more detail
Recently, gaming has been a chore. I don’t want to turn on my computer, running through my Street Passes is exhausting. Just looking at my Twitter feed and reading about the upcoming games that I’m typically excited for isn’t enough to get me in the mood to play games. (For reference, I am someone who played games for at least 20 hours a week for as long as I can remember.) A large part of this has possibly come from my falling out with a game that has been a large part of my life, but surely that doesn’t dictate my entire gaming existence?
For the past three years I have had an obscene love for League of Legends. My friends, my family, and my partner can all attest to the fact that I will spend hours upon hours clicking and spamming QWER123456 and absolutely nothing else. At least, I did. My frustration with the toxicity and immaturity in the community finally reached its threshold a month ago and I stopped playing. I logged on to play with a friend last week, but the game modes had changed and the people were just as terrible to be around as before. As soon as my friend logged off, I signed off and crawled back into bed.
I want a game where I can work together with people, not a game where I have to deal with people constantly being at each other’s throats. People are often berated for being incompetent when they are not, or slammed for being terrible when they’re just trying to learn. (I mute /all.) It is exhausting. I have enough to deal with offline – work, house, relationship – that dealing with drama in a game I’m supposed to be playing to relax is just not enjoyable.
It finally clicked for me. I didn’t need to play League anymore – it wasn’t fun. It was only as fun as the people you’re playing with, and given the behavior of most other anonymous people on the internet, I could hardly expect more of the people on League of Legends. With this revelation, I dropped my bad habit and went back to my roots: handheld RPGs (Bravely Default, SMT4), indie RPGs (Recettear), and the bottomless well of glory that is Pillars of Eternity. I was also suckered into playing Final Fantasy XIV, which I find myself playing more often than not.
But over the past few years, I have forgotten how to play games. I only remember how to log on to League and throw myself into the grind for a few hours. Logging into FFXIV ARR is similar, grind out a few levels and then log off or Duty Roulette and move on. But how do I juggle my RPGs and ‘relax’ while playing those? Perhaps I have merely forgotten how? Logging onto Steam shouldn’t be exhausting, but for some reason, booting up my computer has become a dreaded task of late.
I am easing my way back into games, having rejected the one that kept me trapped in a vicious cycle for so long. After this post-LoL depression ends, I am sure I my game time in Pillars will shoot up to eclipse my Skyrim time. At the very least, I’ll be able to tell you about the most amusing relationship I’ve honed in Fire Emblem.